By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
Life is full of give and take—sharing. It’s a back-and-forth effort like a swing at the playground.
But, as is often the case in the English language, there can be a play on these two words. What, exactly, are we giving and taking?
Are we giving people a piece of our mind and taking offense?
My first year as a sixth-grade teacher, I sprinkled the classroom walls with quotes, pinning them around the room at the students’ eye level.
One of my favorites was from a desktop calendar:
“Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.”
Zig Ziglar is credited with this witty play on the word “find.” I wanted my students to know that I wasn’t there to find fault with them, but to help them find improvement. There is a difference.
Remember the old adage, “Finders keepers, losers weepers”? That catchy phrase has a rhyming rhythm to it, making it hard to forget. Advertisers charge big bucks for such pithy phrases because they stick in the brain, making consumers more likely to buy the advertised product.
Some words are like that—they stick. Have you noticed? Sometimes they stick like lint or a kiss.
Sometimes like Velcro.
Sometimes like a dart.
Pointed words usually have a barb on the end that keeps us from brushing them off.
Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to take offense when we’re in a conversation that makes us feel like a pin cushion.
I am intrigued by phrases like “find fault” and “take offense.” Our language constructs them in the active voice, making them something that a person does.
Is it possible to abstain from those two activities?
I believe it is but not doing something is like going on a diet or giving up a bad habit—it creates a vacuum that wants to suck in everything in sight. This is why it is often easier to not do one thing if we can do something else in its place.
God gave us a great escape from the vacuum of not taking offense.
The New Testament teacher, Paul, told believers to “Let your conversation be always full of grace …” (Colossians 4:6 NIV). The Message version says, “be gracious in your speech.”
So I guess we have a choice in our give-and-take world. We can give graciousness – grace – and rather than take offense, take a minute to consider the heart behind a harshly spoken word.
When the darts fly, we can diffuse them with for-give-ness.
It may be more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35), but let’s not make it easier to take offense.
~
Give and take Share on X
Dan’s eyes warmed into a tease as he turned to Grace. “Let me know if you don’t need my help with anything else.”
Grace opened her mouth, but only the closing of the front door sounded. He had completely squelched her apology with mockery.
Her fingers clenched into fists.
“Don’t let him get your dander up, dear,” Dorrie said. “He can’t help himself—he’s a man.”
Grace snorted and quickly covered her mouth. The elderly woman’s sassy humor drained the offense right out of her.
“It’s dinner time.” Dorrie drew aside the lace curtain behind the settee. “I imagine you’re hungry, what with riding out to the ranch and driving back. That’s two trips you’ve made in two days.”
Grace lifted one shoulder and then the other, a relaxation habit from countless trick-riding expositions. “I’ll fix something for us both. You shouldn’t be taking that medicine on an empty stomach.”
“Hmph.” The widow adjusted the quilt on her feet. “I shouldn’t be taking that snake oil at all.” ~Covering Grace
Inspirational Western Romance – where the hero is heroic.
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We have been given so much Grace from God! We should be unselfish enough to give Grace to those around us!
If we follow Jesus we must love our neighbor. Grace and forgiveness always wins, not hate and revenge.
We know “what Jesus would do!”
Amen, Karen. Thanks for reading.