My heart stops when I see the hospital number displayed on my ringing cell phone, but it is only the nurse helping my loved one call me.
Other callers I don’t have to answer, though I cherish their hearts and prayers, for they weave together into the hammock of God’s grace that holds me close to Him.
But sometimes I just can’t answer.
I’m circling the wagons, pulling the rough board bellies as close as possible and hunkering down behind them, looking out through the lower spokes of the wheels.
Have you ever felt like that?
I build a fire and sit in front of it with the end-of-the-month bills. The house payment. Electricity, water, internet. The phone rings. People want to help and it blesses me and I hope they understand if I don’t always answer.
Unavailable is okay, I’m learning. Instead, I turn off the phone, put down the bills, and pick up my Bible. Quiet fills me.
The peace of God’s presence rushes in like water through an opened valve and I lean as if against Him, to the left, toward the warmth of the fire.
For He is there, with me, in the circle of the wagons.
Be still, and know that I am God. –Psalm 46:10